This common aphorism of the olden days is one still heard the world round and for good reason. Reason: Some people are reluctant to face the truth and lack self-respect.

Time and time again I see this happen and I can’t help but think you only have yourself to blame. Harsh but true. Prime example, a couple have been living together for the past 3 years (together 5 years total) with no real talk of commitment. I am talking about the relationship that carries on casually existing day to day while the elephant in the room hangs ten. Nothing seemingly appears broken in the relationship to the everyday spectator. Friends assume they are destined to be together or why else would they be sharing a toothbrush. Family already embraces them as one of their own with hopes of a wedding and grandchildren on the horizon (whichever comes first these days). Then all of the sudden it is over with a long list of cliches to follow.

If you have been sitting in a relationship for years and desire to be in what society deems a ‘committed relationship’ then just ask your partner this all-telling question: Do you believe in marriage? If they say ‘no’, quickly change the subject, leave the room or all of the above, then move on. I implore you to do so.

Deep down, we usually know the answer to the question we fear asking, but convince ourselves that in time the other person will see the light. As hard as it may seem at the time, just ask and I promise you will save yourself years of empty calories. Life is too short to waste on a relationship that is going nowhere because we are too afraid to ask the right questions.

Side Note: This does not mean to force them into the decision you want to hear, it means lookout for #1 and do what is necessary to find your #1. Mama didn’t raise no cow.