So in this day and age for singletons constantly complain about being single and desire to find ‘the one’, let me state for the record that there is neither a man drought nor a women drought, just a load of individuals that fear commitment, make impractical choices or make excuses. This is not to be directed at those who keep putting themselves out there and may be on the receiving end of the following examples - will save that post for another day.

Let me start with the commitaphobe. You know, the one that serial dates because s/he can’t handle being with just one person for too long; the one that runs for the hills as soon as serious talk hits the scene; the one that is afraid of being hurt so ensures s/he is always one step away from an exit sign. I am no shrink, but if you seriously want something beyond being your own best company, you need to break the cycle of self-destruction. Commit to doing the opposite. 

Impractical is as impractical does. Dating a married person is about as ridiculous as saying I am going to marry Tom Cruise one day .  .  . or is it Katie Holmes? By any means, the impractical singleton is one who goes after a married person with kids, or the one hopelessly pining after a partner out of their league or the one who is delusional in believing that if s/he stays indoors ‘the one’ will just magically appear. All 3 most typically end in tears, threats of suicide or drowning in a case of chocolate bars. All 3 also lend themselves to not having to fully commit to anything REAL. Think practical and find a single fish in the sea, someone who is on an even playing field and get out of the house!

Last but not least is the excuse maker. Not to be confused with the excuse maker who feels compelled to make excuses for the ‘loser’ they are still dating and are better off single. The list I am referring to includes but not limited to the following: he was too old, she was too young, he lives with his mom, she is pretentious, he is not that good-looking, I am not pretty enough, I am not wealthy enough, I am not good enough, I give up. Excuse-making all boils down to the common phrase, ‘You can’t love someone else until you love yourself.’ This does not mean you won’t date in the meantime and complain, but it does mean that until you do learn to love yourself, you will continue to approach the wrong person and be left feeling alone.

So singletons, break the patterns and give the great single guy with the bad haircut a 2nd chance as he may just be your fish or maybe you truly are just better off alone? Only you can decide.

Side Note: If serious, the key to finding someone is to start by looking in the right places and I dare say that you won’t find s/he intoxicated at a bar. Via a mutual friend is my top pick, so keep saying ‘yes’ to social invites.

Supplemental Listening: Alice DJ