No, I am not referring to an acronym for Facebook, so fill in the gaps with whatever words you commonly like best. I am referring to the ever popular hook-up where we convince ourselves we can easily leave the ‘emotional’ component out and the ‘physical’ in. It can be as addictive as crack, but is it worth it? Doesn’t someone always get hurt or is it possible to have your cake and eat it too? Let’s have some cake .  .  .

Here is a story for the books. A friend of mine was avidly against the very idea of ‘hooking up’ for the sake of it as she found it would be impossible to separate the physical and emotional, especially if just a friend. Challenge accepted.

Post a major relationship break-up, her grids aligned with a fun, charismatic and well-endowed (so she eventually found out) photographer who possessed qualities she never realized she desired. She would eventually dismiss the very rule she lived by to venture into a relationship of pure benefits and crazy fun. I listened week after week as she continued to build a friendship and say that it was nothing more than physical and there would be no problem ending it at any time.

For all those who have had a FB, we all know how easy it is to keep it going as it is almost the ideal relationship with no strings attached. Needless to say, the ‘crack’ effect kicked in. She described it as if having a best ‘gay’ male friend who knew how to pleasure women. They talked about everything and anything; they even had general guidelines to follow to keep it all in perspective.

Too bad I could tell he was falling for her and it was clear that no matter how many times she repeatedly told him how she honestly felt, the extreme had to eventually happen. 1. To break her addiction. 2. To prove emotional always gets in the way.

What happened next was a series of very strange and coincidental events. You see, a girl friend whom she had not spoken to in years was in town over Christmas and longing to repair the friendship. It was that night my friend decided to make a mends and invited her to hit the town with us per our usual singleton routine of partying and clubbing that ended at the club her FB was bar-tending at that evening. Closing time was a blur for all.

Her friend who was actually in a serious relationship at the time ended up passing out in the downstairs living area of his apartment - a generous offer made by my friend that evening to avoid her driving home very intoxicated. On that same night is when she awoke to find as quickly as this girl re-entered her life, she was about to exit once again.

En route from the upstairs bedroom to bathroom at the crack of dawn, my friend heard what I will call ‘testing out the FB goods’. Instantaneously a half-awake photographer tried to play it cool running up the stairs to explain a lie in an attempt to get an emotional reaction from my friend. He apparently passed out in an instant having stayed up all night after closing time.

What next … I will never forget the call I received that morning asking for the number to a taxicab service. She was laughing out of shock or still possibly drunk from our conquests at the bar that night, either way she did what any unattached female would do. She grabbed any cash in his wallet, a bottle of spirits and the clothes stripped off by the idle girl on the futon passed out. Karma enters.

My friend had a nice shopping spree later that day and enjoyed throwing out the other girls clothes. The FB called non-stop until she stopped answering to hear all the excuses. The ex-friend was dumped by her then boyfriend.

You see, my friend had established one rule and that was if the FB ever took on another sex partner, then finito was their arrangement. Challenge complete and she never had a FB ever again. I guess what she really wanted all along was a meaningful relationship to replace what she lost, ended and wanted to forget. On the upside, she did eventually find her lifelong BF and FB;-)

Side Note: A FWB (Friend Without Benefits) is worth keeping.